A press conference was cut short after just a few minutes because a prominent leader was asked a sensitive question. He lost his temper, and the rest, as they say, is history.
His public outburst of rage and barrage of verbal assault astounded and perplexed the journalist who had asked the question, as well as the other individuals who were present. His inappropriate response indicated that he would benefit from improving his emotional intelligence.
What Is Emotional Intelligence and Why Does It Matter?
Being emotionally intelligent is the ability to understand your emotions as well as how they affect those around you, and being able to choose an appropriate response, based on the situation and the people who are with you.
Research indicates that leaders who are emotionally intelligent experience more success and lead happier lives. They are able to create and maintain long-lasting interpersonal relationships.
There are five key personal and interpersonal skills involved in emotional intelligence.
Self-awareness: This is the ability to recognize how you are feeling at any given moment so you can respond to it in a positive way:
- Self-management: This is the ability to exercise self-control when in stressful situations. People who are good at managing their emotions don’t often verbally attack others or act on impulse. Engaging in self-destructive behavior in stressful situations indicates a lack of self-management skills.
- Empathy: People with empathy are able to put themselves in other people’s positions or see things from other people’s perspectives.
- Social Skills: When you can easily connect and build rapport with others, you have great social skills.
- Motivation: Self-motivation is a crucial aspect of emotional intelligence. Motivated individuals are intrinsically driven. They are unmoved by praise or external factors such as fame, wealth, or success. They are always focused on achieving their goals.
History of EQ
Throughout the 20th century IQ levels were standardized by Alfred Binet and were thought to be a predictor of success.
Howard Garner, however, made the discovery of multiple intelligences in the 1980s. He made the case that IQ wasn’t the only measure of intelligence and that success isn’t largely determined by it.
Then, in 1990, psychologists Peter Salovey and John D. Mayer made a discovery about a trait that aids individuals in understanding, processing, and controlling their emotions and actions and using that knowledge to direct their thinking and behavior toward others. It was referred to as “emotional intelligence.” Other authors, including Daniel Goleman, helped popularize the concept, supporting the idea that these skills could be learned and developed.
EQ Today
The concept of emotional intelligence has gained widespread acceptance in the workplace and has increased leaders’ and managers’ capacity for making wise decisions, handling conflict, and adjusting to the complexities of the corporate environment. People with high EQ seem to be able to read social cues with superhuman ability. But this isn’t a natural trait for many people. People make poor decisions when there is a misalignment between the behavior that would be most effective in a particular situation, and the behavior they are most comfortable using—their default behavior.
DiSC Assessments and Emotional Intelligence
The DiSC assessment is a behavioral assessment tool that helps you understand your default behavior. For example:
- Someone with the D behavioral style is direct, assertive, and forceful. They have a high need to control and influence both the situation and people, they need to make progress toward goals, and they don’t want to show weakness.
- People with an i behavioral style are very social, high-energy, and enthusiastic. They have a high need to connect with other people, they need to have fun, and they need to be seen and heard.
- Someone with the S behavioral style is accommodating, patient and gentle. They have a high need for acceptance and belonging, making people happy, and creating and maintaining harmony.
- People with a C behavioral style are analytical, reserved, and precise. They have a strong need to get things right, they need autonomy, and they want to avoid blame.
Using DiSC to understand EQ helps you see how you approach social and emotional situations and helps you recognize when a different response might be more effective in a specific situation. When you can step back and see that your default response would be a poor choice, you can choose a response that would be more effective.
For example, let’s go back to our press conference where the leader lost his cool and blew up. As a D-style, he has a high need to control and influence, and he was asked a question that he was unprepared to answer. So he responded with anger, attempting to take control back from the journalist. Had he been more emotionally intelligent, he would have recognized that the situation called for restraint and composure, and instead of belittling, he could have taken a deep breath, asked for clarification (which would have given him time to think), or simply said he was not prepared to discuss that topic today.
Are you ready to learn more about becoming emotionally intelligent? The Everything DiSC Agile EQ Profile describes eight different ways to approach social and emotional situations. Using it will help your team stretch to mindsets that are beyond their comfort zones and build an agile workforce.
More tools for building emotional agility:
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